Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Rob returned this week to the local Social Security office in downtown Tucson. He was armed with all sorts of official documents: formal request for a Social Security Card, birth certificate, certified adoption decree, passports, and the formerly missing proof of citizenship. Rob walked in early on a Wednesday morning, prepared for success in our quest for Romi's ever elusive Social Security Card. And there was good news to be had: Rob only had to wait 45 minutes to be waited on by Mr. Clark, who decreed that all of the paperwork was--at long last--in perfect order. The goal was completely within Rob's grasp when Mr. Clark then asked to see our son, who was at that exact moment having a perfectly wonderful time at preschool.

It turns out that no one ever indicated that the minor actually had to be present. Our good luck continued, however, and all Rob had to do was to present Romi to Mr. Clark that same day, and he wouldn't even have to wait in line. Now all we have to do is wait for them to verify his citizenship and the card should arrive in the mail within four weeks. Here's to hoping....

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back....

Adopting a baby always requires an ungodly amount of paperwork, and an international adoption all the more so. Paperwork and forms and waiting have been a constant part of our lives since we started this process. However, we have been particularly anxious about receiving Romi's birth certificate (an anxiety that you may be able to relate to but only Heather truly understands). The birth certificate is the key to so many things. On a strictly practical level, it's the easiest way to get Romi on a plane. It allows us to apply for his social security card, which will in turn enable us to claim him as a dependent on our taxes. We need it to issue him a passport. On a strictly emotional level, there's just something about seeing an official United States government document listing us and only us as the true, forever, natural, legal mother and father to Romi Amiel Gludt.

We've been waiting and waiting for the right forms since May 11, 2009, when we formalized his re-adoption in the States. Of course, the promised document never arrived in the mail. We proceeded to establish a phone relationship with the Office of Vital Records in Phoenix. We mailed forms, called, waited, called some more, made no progress and, eventually, in an act of aggravation and desperation, Rob strapped Romi into his car seat and drove the two hours up to the state capital to procure the longed-for document. It worked!

Our next goal: the Social Security Card. Armed with completely filled out downloaded documents from the website, an official certified copy of his adoption and the golden birth certificiate, Rob headed to downtown Tucson and waited the two and a half hours for his turn, only to be told that we also needed to present proof of citizenship, a form sitting in a box at home that no one ever told us we needed. So Rob will try yet again this week to attain more elusive documents, although we are concerned that all of Romi's documentation is in his English name and his proof of citizenship is in his Taiwanese name.

And so on and on it goes...one step forward and two steps back!

Romi's First Day of School

Romi's First Day of School

Monday was the big day: Romi's first day of school. It was hard on all three of us. I'm still not convinced that my little guy needs socialization just yet, but he does love hanging out with other kids, so we're going to give it a try. He spent a good portion of the day with his buddy Jacob. They know and like one another, so that helped. His teachers said he did really well, enough so that we are going to bring him back for another day, although we'll see if his Ima's tough enough to handle it! Of course, his emotionally and physically trying day meant he was absolutely, completely exhausted, and he fell asleep shortly after pulling out of the synagogue's driveway. He proceeded to take a wonderful two-hour nap, so maybe this school thing isn't so bad!

Tessa's Big Day

We capped off a summer of simcha celebrations, friends, and family with one more big to-do: Tessa's Bat Mitzvah. On Thursday the three of us headed back out to the airport for our flight to San Jose. Interestingly, the check-in counter attendant actually asked for proof of Romi's age--the first time that's ever occurred. Luckily we had gone back to the house for his passport. The flight was far from full, so we were able to schlep the car seat with us, and Romi did beautifully on both the flight from Tucson to LAX and from LAX to San Jose. We arrived, got our car, grabbed a bite to eat and headed toward the coast, arriving at the Marriott in the early evening. Monterey's chilly temperatures were welcome after our hot Tucson summer, but Romi was most impressed with the pillow presentation on the king-sized bed.

We headed over to Dave and Deb's early Friday morning so Rob could begin his day of baking (he made all the challah for the weekend). We had a wonderful day hanging out, running errands (taking and printing photos of Tess, picking up the cotton candy machine from the correct rental store, hitting the supermarket multiple times, etc.) before running back to the hotel to get presentable for Friday night services. Of the three of us, Romi looked the best.

Shabbat services were lovely and Tessa did a fabulous job. We can't beleive how late Romi stayed up, but it was a special occasion. Before servies we lounged about in bed on Saturday morning, eating our picnic breakfast. I spent a good portion of Saturday morning chasing Romi around the synagogue, who wanted nothing more than to get up on that bimah just as he does at Ima's shul. Luckily the building is small enough that I missed very little of Tessa's bat mitzvah; she did a truly outstanding job.

My favorite parts of Saturday morning are when we arrived and got to see everyone: Matt, Dana, Sarah, Lindsey, Scott, Pam, Alex, Ben, Edna, Jean, Gloria, Taylor and a myriad of friends and other family. As a group we sure clean up well! At one point during the service I let Romi wander into the Sanctuary and toward the front of the room. As he neared the bimah I grabbed him and sat down next to his Uncle Scott. I stood him up on the pew so he could say hi to his cousins behind him and they en mass leaned forward. I have no worries about his being the littlest cousin of all. During lunch the little manster finally crashed, and Rob gently laid him on a pew in the sanctuary, where he slept peacefully under the watchful eyes of the photographer and all his cousins.

Following a fantastic lunch spread put on by Dave and Deb, we headed back to the hotel for a Shabbas schluff. When we got up we trekked over to the house to enjoy a really, really fun afternoon with the family. A slew of us took a walk down to the beach, which turned into quite the excursion. Uncle Matt was quite helpful with the stroller and Romi absolutely loved walking on the boardwalk. It was a completely enjoyable afternoon, spent visiting and eating and enjoying being together. Dad would have loved it.

We had to head out early Saturday morning. We stopped by Dave and Deb's to say goodbye and thank you and to kiss all the cousins who had spent the night. It was hard for all of us to leave because the weekend had been so truly wonderful.

Framily Vacation 2009

Our trip to Flagstaff blended in with another wonderful summer tradition: Framily Vacation with the Brunks and the Dinsdales. The three of us got home early Sunday morning (the freeway was closed in Phoenix) and after returning home from doing a wedding, I found my house full of Brunks! It's amazing that although our three families split up geographically in 2000, we have managed to see each every year for the past nine years. This time, the gang decided to brave the Arizona heat in August and to enjoy the screaming good deals. The Brunks began their week-long Tucson trip at the Lowe's Vantana. They spent their days enjoying the pool and the luxury and still managed to meet up with us at least once a day, either for dinner at our place or out. Rob and Romi played tour guide on some of these days, and the Brunks got to enjoy Sabino Canyon, Mount Lemmon and Bookman's.


The Brunks checked out of Lowe's on Thursday and into Hotel Gludt. Heather and Mark arrived that afternoon, and the mayhem began. The kids were thrilled to see one another, as were the adults. That night we all headed to the Gaslight theater for another hysterical production. Heather said she smiled and laughed so much her face actually hurt. We enjoyed the food (thank you Terry family), the atmosphere, the show and just being together.

Kartchner Caverns was on Friday's agenda, although I had to skip out after spending the night sick. Everyone else had a wonderful time, once the tickets got straighted out. It wasn't Romi's favorite, but he did pretty well. Jacki came with me to Tot Shabbat and we returned home to an amazing Shabbat dinner of turkey and fixings. Heather and Mark joined me for services on Saturday morning, and Shabbat lunch was leftovers, seeing as we had left lunch out all night. Bob came with me to afternoon services, and we returned home to laugh and play and to head out to enjoy Frost.

Sunday morning saw the Brunks heading home. Heather and Mark hung out for a while and we went to lunch, after which Heather decided to get sick, so we canceled her plane reservation. She hunkered down at our house and a few hours later the Bermans arrived for their visit., another awesome tradition. It took a couple of days for Heather to bounce back, but she toughed it out and went home the next day. It was a great Framily visit, sickness and all.

Some Random Stuff
Mark and Max were sitting on the couch with Romi when Lauren, unbeknownst to the guys, came up behind them and said, "What's up?!" Mark couldn't believe that Romi could talk like that!

When I told Max he couldn't sit on the glass table he actually asked me, "Then what's it there for?"

Romi's new things include bouncing his head in time to music, swinging his right arm vigorously when he walks, and saying banana, although he's only done that once.

Family Vacation 2009

Our (hopefully!) annual trip with the Burg and Werbow families took place this summer in Flagstaff, AZ. Rob, Romi and I set out early on Sunday morning to make the trek to greener and cooler pastures. We made a few stops on the way, including the outlets in Casa Grande and a great lunch with Mike, Kristen and Connor in Phoenix (where I ran into someone for the synagogue. What are the odds? Oh yeah, even money.) The drive was long but beautiful, and Rob and I enjoyed watching the truly stunning change in environment as we climbed out of the hot desert and into the forested areas of Flag. We had very little trouble finding the house, a large Victorian on a corner within walking distance of downtown. We stayed home only long enough to turn on some fans and to touch base with the others, who were a few hours behind us in a van. Rob strapped on Romi and we headed to town for some food.

Flagstaff is an adorable college town with bars and restaurants and bars and shops and trains. The railroad is alive and well in this corner of Arizona, and for safety's sake, the trains blow their whistles as they go through town, which is every 10 minutes. (It's either for safety or because they really hate the residents of Flagstaff.) In any case, we found a pizza place and enjoyed walking around, looking at the people and the dogs and listening to the free concert in the plaza.

Shortly after we got home the troops arrived and it was hugs and kisses all around, especially for Romi who had yet to meet the Werbows or Daniel. We claimed our respective spaces and relaxed until bed. We had an easy day on Monday, all of us recovering from our respective days of travel. We walked into town and enjoyed lunch at a tasty albeit slow vegetarian restaurant. We had homemade Mexican food for dinner, although I forgot the tamales, and everyone slept a bit better on night two.

Tuesday, Elle's birthday, we all headed to Slide Rock, a beautiful area in a mountainous area. The kids loved the natural water slide, although Romi proved a bit too young for the adventure. The rock formations and water were beautiful, although you definitely need to wear shoes for this outing. It was crowded, but everyone was having a wonderful time and no one got hurt, so we call it a successful day. We headed into Sedona for lunch, admiring the rightly famous red rock and all headed home for a relaxing evening of birthday dinner and rainbow cake.

Wednesday was the big day--we all got in the van and drove up to the Grand Canyon. It had only been one year since we had been there, but your mind just can't retain the majestic wonder of it. I honestly think I could go once a year and still be completely in awe. We enjoyed our picnic lunch, walking along the rim, various performances and, of course, some ice cream. Melissa chose to forgo the sugary treat and opted for pretzels, which Romi decided he wanted. Melissa gave him a pretzel of his own, but he clearly indicated how we felt about that and threw it on the ground, continuing to insist through words and gestures that what he really wanted was Melissa's pretzel. She eventually gave in, because as we know, the force is strong with this one. But what we didn't know is that he would throw that pretzel on the ground too, look Melissa straight in the eye and then laugh at her. She claims it was the first time she ever got laughed at by a 15-month old.

After locating the wandering Shamir, we made our way back to the van, back to Flagstaff and back home.That night began Tisha B'Av and Daniel and Mike took turns chanting Eicha by firelight. It was wonderful. Rob, Romi and I stayed home for a quiet morning, breaking our fast at a local Mexican restaurant that got a bit of monsoon. After meeting up with the rest of the gang, we again piled into the car and headed to Sunset Crater, which turned out to be even cooler than it sounded. Only pictures can really do it justice.

Friday we cooked for Shabbat and then headed to the Aquaplex, where Romi was in his absolute glory. The city's pool is indoors and has fountains, wading pools, slides, a lazy river, a vortex and lots of lifeguards, which came in handy when Shamir fell, hit his head, shut down the pool and went to the hospital. Luckily he was just fine. In the meantime, Romi had the time of his life, and even though he cried whenever we took him out of the water, we decided when he turned a dark enough shade of blue that enough was enough.

It was a wonderful Shabbat together, with great food, good friends, and loads of laughing. On Saturday we schlepped to a park where I mistook Miriam's Burt's Bees diaper ointment for Melissa's Burt's Bees sunscreen, lathering Romi up in a thick white coat. Rob, Romi and I headed home late Saturday night, physically and emotionally rested but sad to say goodbye to such good friends.

The Divine Aunt Jodi!

At long last, Romi's Auntie arrived in Tucson to meet the little guy. Grandma didn't want to miss out on the family reunion, so she arrived from Los Angeles an hour before Jodi's flight. The three Gludts schlepped to the airport to pick up the crew. The irony is that Romi fell asleep on the way to the airport, and stayed fast asleep as Grandma and then Auntie arrived. Jodi's first glimpse of her little nephew was of him shluffing in his car seat. She was still impressed.

We loaded the half-drugged Grandma (she'd taken a pill to help her relax because she hates flying) and the spaced-out Auntie (there was no air on the plane and she hadn't eaten all day) into the car and headed off to--what else?--eat. We had a great meal at Oregano's and returned home so Jodi could enjoy the Romster in his natural environment. And she definitely enjoyed him! The two hit it off fabulously. Rob BBQ'd for us that night, and Grandma was in her glory, having both her own little chicks with her.

Thursday we left Grandma at home to recuperate and headed up Mount Lemmon. Jodi loved the views and the hiking, and she even braved the bathrooms. Romi had a lovely time collecting sticks, and we found a perfect spot to picnic, complete with a babbling brook. Of course, Auntie couldn't resist taking her water-loving nephew into the "crick" and they spent quite a bit of time braving the cool water.

We warmed up with a cookie buried under ice cream and whipped cream before heading down the hill and out to dinner with the Saxtons and the Parnabys. Friday saw us getting ready for Shabbat and touring Tucson's fancy-schmancy resorts, sans baby, before a wonderful Shabbat dinner. We spent Shabbat afternoon at the Hoffmans, where Auntie got to see just how much of a water baby we have on our hands. The two laughed and splashed and swam and ate and we all had a wonderful time.

On Sunday we all got dolled up, although we forgot to take a photo, and headed out to the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch for the buffet lunch, which we all heartily enjoyed. In fact, we enjoyed so much we never ate dinner, although we did manage to get to Frost for some gelato.

Unfortunately, Jodi chose to go home on Monday. We were all terribly sad to see her go. Romi had gotten so attached he actually followed Jodi around and yelled at her to come back and play with him. He loved playing with her in the inflatable pool, on the living room floor and in the guest room. They had a wonderful time together, although it was far too short!

Random Romi Update
Romi has completely mastered the art of walking and takes off like a flash. He has determined that Ima and Abba know nothing about organization and has taken to rearranging the house on a daily basis. Just so you know, movies go in Tupperware bowls and kitchen drawers, garlic presses and flour sifters go in the living room, ladles go in the bedroom and hairbrushes belong in the office.

The little guy enjoys mimicking all that we do, including using utensils, blowing his nose, brushing his hair, and laying down with his head on a pillow. He is fascinated by noses and likes to touch them. At a recent outing to Barnes and Noble, he had a fabulous time stalking children, and even managed to "catch" one little boy who was quietly sitting and reading a book. He approached slowly, extended his hand and put his finger on his new friend's nose, leaving it there until we rescued the poor kid.

P.S. We recently had to stash the Diaper Champ in Romi's closet. He loved flipping the handle over and over, which was a bit unsanitary but funny so we let it go. We eventually took the "toy" away from him when he started putting his dirty laundry in it!

Camp Roth

The three of us just got back from Romi's first visit to Camp Roth. (Camp Roth is what we call my cousin's home because it reminds us of camp: there is always someone to play with and something to do. For example, within five minutes of arriving, Rob and Romi were in the pool with Bryan, I was lying poolside with Alan, and Sharon was watching Jaclyn and Jordan play tennis.) The flight to Cleveland proved a bit rough. We had a 7:00 a.m. departure out of Phoenix so Motzi Shabbat we headed up to a hotel a few miles from the airport (after bidding farewell to a house full of Shabbat guests!). Romi fell asleep in the car and all was going well, until we got to the hotel room and he woke up and completely refused to go back to sleep. So, after literally about three hours of sleep, we boarded the plane for the direct flight. The upside was the little guy slept on the plane for about two hours, which made the trip pretty easy. As we landed in Cleveland the flight got quite bumpy, which made Romi laugh and smile. Turns out our kidlet loves turbulence.

We retrieved our luggage, picked up the rental car and headed to Sharon's, only to get repeatedly lost. It seems as if my usually reliable sense of direction doesn't work without sleep. We arrived at last and as I said, were all poolside in a matter of minutes. My original plan was to head to the seminar, but I was shattered. Instead we hung out at Camp Roth, and Sharon made us a wonderful dinner that we ate outside, enjoying the Roths, the Mecklers, Marianna and the amazing weather.

Monday I headed off to the seminar and Rob stayed home to play and wait for David and the twins to show up. Everyone enjoyed another beautiful summer day. That night, Stan took Rob and Steven to the baseball game (we got to see them on TV) and the rest of us went out to dinner (Romi actually fell asleep at CPK) before returning home to watch Romi walk around carrying his pants. Oddly enough, that's much more entertaining than you might think.

Tuesday I was back at work. Romi played with his uncle, cousins and Abba until I got home, which is pretty much how Wednesday went too. Wednesday night we went out to kick off Austin's 16th birthday festivities, and Romi got so into it that he stayed up really late partying. (Partying by his definition is running around in his PJs, throwing remote controls.) We had some time to play and enjoy being with everyone on Thursday before heading to the airport. Unfortunately, Romi was not nearly as amiable on the return trip home as he was on the way out, but we all managed and return home safe and sound.

Romi's walking skills have vastly improved and he resorts to crawling far less than he did even a week ago. He still makes his new scrunchy face but that too is losing its appeal. We think he's been shaking his head no, but we aren't totally certain he knows what it means. He does, however, point to what it is he wants, which is helpful but not always the most accurate form of communication. Beryl got him a wonderful new toy: a remote-control car designed for the younger set. He likes the car, he likes to push the bottom to make it make noise, he likes the remote control, but he isn't so fond of the car when we start zooming it around. When we actually remote the remote-control car, he climbs into our laps, alternately fascinated and terrified. The other day he went so far as to push the offending auto under the futon.

Our Hybrid

Like my beloved Prius, my beloved baby is also a hybrid. He crawls about half the time and walks the other half. He hasn't given up the crawling completely because not only is it is his most efficient method of locomotion, he has trouble when he has anything on his feet (shoes or footsie PJs). When it comes to eating, his hybrid status continues. He is a fairly adventurous eater, trying many foods, and shows a pretty mature palette (he loves black beans and guacamole), but he only eats with his hands, has very little interest in using utensils. and indicates he's done by putting his food-laden hands in his hair. Romi holds his own sippy cup and loves to drink from a glass (which we obviously hold), but will only take milk from a bottle, only if it's warm, and only if we hold it.

I don't mind a baby hybrid. I know he's on the brink of being an independent little boy and I know I want him to grow and learn and develop, but as long as he's a hybrid, he's still my baby too.

Father's Day

We had a truly wonderful Father's Day. We dressed Romi up in his cute outfit from cousin Sharon, loaded him into the car and headed to the Hoffman's to meet up with the rest of the gang (Parnabys, Saxtons, Ellentucks and Selzniks). When we all get together there is guaranteed to be mayhem, laugh er, noise and lots of food. There was so much going on Romi wouldn't even eat lunch. He just stumbled around, walking and crawling, trying to be a part of all the action. When we determined that eating just wasn't going to happen, we put him in his cute swim trunks and swim shirt from Aunt Kim and Uncle Joe and Ima and the Mooch headed into the beautiful but surprising cold pool with almost everyone else.

Simply put, Romi loves to swim. He laughed, he squealed, he kept putting his face in the water. He didn't care when I dunked his keppie (head) under, he liked the backstroke and leaned into it, he thought the side stroke was hilarious, and jumping around was the best thing since sliced bread. We definitely have a water baby on our hands!

We were finally forced from all the fun when his shivering went on for an extended period of time--the price for having no body fat! Like the pool mama pro she is, Stephi took Romi, quickly stripped him naked, wrapped him like a burrito and put him in my arms to warm up. When he was dry I let him explore the great outdoors for a while, sans clothes, an adventure which only ended when he peed on the terra cota tile. Rob and I dressed our kidlet and took him in to the house where he quickly discovered that Emily was eating ice cream. Being no fool, he climbed onto her lap. I'm really not sure who got more, but Emily was a very good sport about sharing!

We headed home to prepare for Romi's next new experience: an evening home alone with the babysitter. Rob and I had a wedding to attend and for this simcha kidlets were not invited. Stacy came over to take care of our little man, we sucked it up and headed out. When we returned three and a half hours later, Stacy reported that Romi was a little trooper. He wasn't happy at first and insisted on crawling to the door to see where we had gone, but he eventually came around and the two had a great evening together. He ate a huge dinner, took a long bath, played on the floor and even let her put him to bed. I'm proud of Romi and of us (I swear, we didn't call even once!).

Radom Romi bits:
He's walking quite a bit, but has trouble in shoes and footsie PJs.
He loves to push his lion around, but can't navigate well yet.
He's discovered how to make clicking sounds with his tongue.
He's the only kid I know that sits patiently for a haircut and doesn't mind the gel (he gets that from Aunt Jodi).
When he spies Ima he gets so excited that he hugs Abba (who says life is fair?)