Buddies

Tuesday evening entailed dinner provided by the Hoffmans and Romi's introduction to his first American friend, Jacob. It was quite a meeting. We think the hair-pulling was a gesture of love.

The babies got on famously, but what was most appreciated was Stefani's willingness to trim Romi's finger and toe nails. I admit it, I find the prospect daunting! He ended the evening with a bath.

Romi is still suffering from jet lag and having trouble sleeping at night. Rob and I are adjusting to the time change, although it's a slow process.

Wednesday was an eventful day. Romi had his first solid food: carrots. Although he began less than impressed, I think they grew on him (both literally and figuratively).


We stopped by the shul where Romi found his many admirers overwhelming, so he checked out by taking a half-hour nap. Unfortunately, he woke up in time to go the lab where they took blood. At first it hurt and then the process just ticked him off. It didn't do much for Rob or I either!

Romi Gets a Thumbs Up

Rob and I put our jet lag aside and took Romi to his first doctor's appointment this morning. Dr. Cochran had wanted to see our little bundle of fun within 48 hours of our returning home (just as she does newborns), so we headed in. Luckily, the little guy had just gotten up from a nap and was, as usual, all smiles. He thoroughly charmed the office staff and the nurses. Even better, he got a great bill of health. The doctor says that developmentally he is absolutely where he should be. His eyes, ears and lungs looked great. He weighed in at 16.2 punds and reaches just over a very respectable 27 inches. He needs some vaccinations and some lab work (ugh!), but he's off to a great start. (She actually used the word "perfect" but as a humble Ima I'm avoiding that.) We go back again in a week. The other good news is that we get to start feeding him vegetables, so carrots will be on tonight's dinner menu. Should be interesting!

Mazel Tov!

For an eloquent, funny and touching account of our Sunday afternoon at LAX, please see Heather's blog at http://somethinshiny.blogspot.com/.

The Never-Ending Trip Home

First the good news: we made it home, safe and sound. The bad news is that jet lag totally sucks. But I get ahead of myself. Romi and I both woke up very early on Sunday morning (at 4:00 a.m.), the result of the two of us going to bed two hours early the night before. It worked out well, however, because we had plenty of time to get ready to depart. We packed up and Mr. Yeh drove us to the airport. We arrived in plenty of time to check in, but Romi was definitely getting hungry. We found an ice cream sweet-shop kiosk in the airport and I took the bottle out and indicated that I needed hot water. I know I've stated how baby-orientated Taiwanese culture is but it still surprises me how helpful people are when it comes to the little ones. The woman not only took the bottle but made sure to sterilize it too. Once we made it past security, we tried to find a place to change Romi. Luckily, we stumbled on Baby Kitty, the Hello Kitty-sponsored baby room. (No, I am not making that up.) The room was well appointed (diapers, wipes, changing stations, hot water, a crib, etc.) and was done all in pink with a cloud-blue sky. These people really love Hello Kitty.

We boarded the plane, settled in to our comfy seats and began the long trek home. We had once again to stop in Japan, gather all our belongings, get off the plane, go through security, and wait at the gate just to get back on the plane to sit in the exact same seats. Whatever. Romi did well on the plane, all things considered. He didn't even mind the turbulence. Rob and I, however, had less patience for the bad food (both Kosher and Asian vegetarian) and hours of hurling through the air. We ended up using Romi's bassinet seat more as a convenient changing table and shelf. He slept off and on, mostly on us. In actuality the trip was two hours shorter (only 10 hours from Japan and not 12), but it still seemed an eternity.

We were concerned as to how long and complicated the customs and immigration process would be in Los Angeles. Fortunately, our fears were unfounded. Rob and I breezed through, and they sent us to a separate counter for Romi. We handed the man the special sealed visa envelop from AIT (the consulate in Taipei) that we had been told repeatedly and emphatically not to open. The immigration official told us to sit and wait. We opted to stand (I didn't think we'd ever want to sit again!) and the whole process took about 10 minutes. That was it--Romi is now a U.S. citizen. We will have to go through the process of re-adopting in the States to get him an American birth certificate and all that, but he's legal.

We gathered our luggage, navigated through customs and headed out into the sunshine, a family of three!

Taiwan Shabbat

We spent Shabbat dinner with our new friends Theresa, Lee and Maddy. We pushed the sundown envelope a bit because they were late getting to our hotel. Turns out Friday-night traffic is not just an American phenomenon. I justified it but reassuring myself that there was a very good chance that the people preparing our meal were not Jewish. Friday night consisted mainly of hanging out in the lobby of our hotel, watching the people go by, playing with the babies and exchanging new adoptive parent blessings and concerns. It was wonderful to have Shabbat company.

When the front desk told us that it would take 50 minutes to walk to the Sheraton for services, we nixed the very cool idea of going to shul in Taipei and spent a quiet Saturday morning at home in our hotel room. Following Romi's post-breakfast nap we headed out into the humidity to walk a bit in the city. Our destination was a park a few blocks away, but our purpose was really just to spend a bit more time in Taipei.

The other hotels in town that we considered staying at were all across town, in the fancy-schmancy shopping district. Our hotel was in a much more "authentic" part of town, meaning that when we wandered the small, crowded and fascinating streets, we were the only non-Asian people around. As we walked, Romi continued to get his share of the attention, so it took a bit longer than it should have to cover the few short blocks to the park.

As we went we saw a million scooters (of course!) and lots of dogs. People own these dogs, but they hang out in the street, taking themselves to the park. They even wait for the lights to cross the street (seriously). They hang out in stores and restaurants. It's wild. The park was lovely. It had lots of sculptures, a good view of the Grand Hotel, a baseball diamond (we stopped to watch an inning), tennis courts, playground, swimming pool and a maze. The maze was done in hedges and I wanted to go play Harry Potter but it was all in the sun so we opted to skip it. We especially enjoyed the park signs, including the one that read, "No to abuse sword," which by the accompanying picture we are pretty sure meant to stay off the grass.

We headed home, had pizza for dinner motzei shabbas (and yes, they gave us more ketchup) and Romi and I crashed early. Good thing, 'cause we had a big going home day scheduled for Sunday!

Friday in Taipei

Today was out first day without an appointment to make.

Romi woke up and had breakfast, we had breakfast, and then he took a nap. When he got up we headed to Longshon temple, the oldest in Taipei. It was much smaller than the one by our house, but it came complete with a beautiful waterfall.

Like the other, it was busy with people buying offerings, incense and worshipers. It was beautiful. The intricacy of the artwork here blows your mind. We even saw two men cleaning some of the Temple's bowls. One man was using a hair dyer on a carved bowl that is who knows how old. The flower offerings were spectacular, with everything from birds of paradise to orchids to star gazers.

Nearly everyone we passed gave Romi loads of attention, including one older woman who circled her face and gave him a thumbs up. We agreed that he's a good looking boy. An elderly monk took a special interest in Romi and I have some great photos of her holding him.

Feeling emboldened we set out to the Metro. It's a great system, and similar enough to other mass transits in the world that we could figure it out pretty easily (thanks also to Lee for some tips). It's surprisingly inexpensive to get around Taipei, both via cab and metro. The fare is charged by where you start and where you end up and you get a plastic coin which you put on a sensor to open the doors. Pretty spiffy. The dark blue seats are designated for the elderly, the disabled, pregnant women, and people holding babies, and without fail we had seats on the train.

We Americans are both lucky and spoiled. Here we were, literally half-way around the world, and not only are all the signs in both Chinese and English, but a nice recoding reminded us in our native tongue not only which stop we were at, but were to get off to transfer to get to Chiang-Kai Shek Memorial Hall. The metro even has designated areas with extra security cameras for women traveling alone at night.

We got off the metro and wandered past the National Concert Hall, an impressive building even when covered in scaffolding. We wandered through botanical gardens to the Memorial Hall, climbing the numerous steps to the top. Think the Lincoln Memorial, but in a MUCH bigger building. We didn't see any of the exhibits but did head toward the shopping district.

We tried to make it to Taipei 101, but it was getting late, Romi was getting both tired and hungry, and we had money issues to solve. For some reason, our credit card won't work here. We spent a small fortune calling Visa, who says there is no problem. We weren't too concerned until we couldn't get money from the ATM either. We needed money to buy food for Shabbat and pay both the hotel and Mr. Yeh. Don't worry, we think we got it worked out.

Some random Taiwanese bits: the ever-present scooters aren't allowed to make left turns at intersections, so they go into the crosswalk to cross the street with the pedestrians and then turn right. We've seen scooters with moms and two kids, an old man with his dog, and helmets with all sorts of personality, from Mickey Mouse to horns.

The Burger King ads have a cartoon bear. Seems as if their best-seller is a salmon sandwich.

I had the hotel launder three pairs of my pants and they came back pressed nicer then I would ever have thought humanly possible. I felt guilty wearing them. Seriously, they are so nicely done that my cotton pants are now too big; the wrinkles were taking up enough space to keep them up!

A Really Busy Thursday

Romi woke up at 6:30, and following breakfast, entertained his parents by playing, laughing, rolling around and generally just being the cutest baby ever.

After his morning nap, we had breakfast and got ready for our final bit of business at AIT. It only took about five minutes to pick up Romi's Taiwanese passport and American immigration visa. He will officially be a citizen the moment he makes it through customs in L.A., but we will do all the necessary paperwork to readopt in the States so he has an American birth certificate.

Following AIT, we joined the Richards family (Maddy and her parents) and Kai and his parents (Kim and Kent) for an afternoon of sightseeing with Mr. Yeh and his sidekick Carrot-top. We learned two important lessons that afternoon: Mr. Yeh drives a magic bus (not only did we escape SEVERAL near misses, the babies all sleep really well in his car), but you should never doubt him (he knows Taipei like no one's business and can get hot water for a baby bottle literally anywhere). If we had known about his powers before we left, we would have gotten him a cape as a gift instead of a bolo tie.

Our first stop was the Handicraft Market, which is pretty much a four-story building with all sorts of Taiwanese products, everything from beautiful jade jewelry to teapots to a putter made from jade to authentic Taiwanese outfits. As you all know, I'm not much of a shopper, so it sorta stressed me out. We didn't end up getting much. I figure Romi's the best thing about Taiwan and we've already got him.

Next stop, the Grand Hotel. This is one fancy place, done in a very Asian style, with an amazing interior and exterior. There's lots of red, stairs, and decorations. We saw the famous brass dragon, which had been plated in gold. Go figure.

Next stop was the Martyrs' Memorial. Somehow Mr. Yeh got us there just at the changing of the guard. We tried to stop and watch but he wouldn't let us. Instead, he urged us to the middle of the plaza (using hand motions, he doesn't really speak English). Never doubt Mr. Yeh; the guard processional marched right up to where were standing to do some fancy soldier footwork, twirling bayonets and all. The building was beautiful, but it was really hot and muggy out. The guards stand at attention a la Buckingham Palace, but at least these guys have an attendant to spray cool water on the back of their necks.

But our day was not yet done. We set off for the National Palace Museum, which was air conditioned--yea! We began in the Neolithic period and made our way through the many Asian antiquities. The people here are all wonderfully welcoming, but I do wonder what they thought of three white American couples, each with their own six-month-old Taiwanese baby.

A group of French Jews stopped my kippah-wearing husband to ask him some questions, so I did the supportive thing and jumped in an elevator with the baby. We enjoyed the museum, but what we got most out of the afternoon was spending time with two other families just like ours.

As we headed off to dinner to meet Gongzhan and the fourth Gladney family here, we got to see yet another Taipei neighborhood. The scooters which are everywhere do not abate at night, and this area of town was quite crowded with cars and people. At one point I looked up to see a women wearing a full white western wedding gown, complete with veil, crossing the street.

We ate at a traditional dumpling restaurant. I loved the seasoned cucumbers and Rob thoroughly enjoyed the mushroom dumplings. I was a bit freaked out at dinner; the restaurant was hot, crowded and noisy and pretty much constituted treif city. Even though I know our veggie dumplings were handmade, I couldn't really enjoy them thinking about their neighbors in the steamer. Gladney generously took us all to dinner, just another thing for which to thank them.

We returned home and learned that if you play peek-a-boo with Romi he will literally belly laugh. It was an excellent ending to a very full day.

All About Romi

OK, this blog entry is going to be all about our little boy, so I won't be offended if you decide to skip it. I do remember that details which are endlessly fascinating to new parents aren't all that noteworthy to outsiders.

Romi isn't a big talker, except in the morning after he gets up.

He loves rolling around, and can go both directions, meaning he covers some pretty extensive ground.

He pulls himself up onto his knees and elbows, so I know that crawling is just around the corner.

He's not too into toys but he loves being in the Baby Bjorn.

He eats only formula, but he can suck down a bottle in no time.

He is entranced by water and loves having a bath and we can't wait to take him swimming.

He's a good sleeper and drools a lot, but doesn't spit up too much.

When he's tired or his teeth are bothering him, he puts his entire hand in his mouth.

He uses a pacifier at night, but isn't very interested in it during the day.

He seems to be ready for food.

When he's in a good mood, he talks, rolls around and grabs his feet.

And his favorite things are to snuggle and to get kisses.

He's amazing.

Wednesday in Taipei

Tuesday night we entertained ourselves by eating pizza and watching Romi roll around on the floor, wrapping himself up in his green fuzzy blanket like a spinach-tortilla burrito. It was more fun than it sounds. Romi slept really well Tuesday night, especially all things considering (like the completely new environment and total lack of experience of his parents).

Wednesday, we got up early, had another really good breakfast at the hotel (boy, am I going to miss that!), including something called Dragon Fruit. I think it's part of the melon family. It has a texture similar to watermelon but is completely white with small, black edible seeds.

After breakfast, we headed off early to AIT, the equivalent of the American Consulate. For some reason, our taxi driver was adamant that we couldn't bring in our baby bag and so he eventually persuaded us to leave it in the car. Luckily we ran into Theresa, Lee and Maddy, who were also there for their visa appointment, so we had baby supplies if necessary.

The morning was like any other waiting around a government agency, although we were sworn in in both Chinese and English. It took two and a half hours, and it turns out that the biggest form with the most attachments was totally unnecessary, but Romi should have both a passport and an immigration visa by 11:30 this morning.

When we returned to the hotel we decided to do a bit of exploring. We stopped at Subway for lunch (not very cultural but expedient and vegetarian) and headed down the street to a bustling temple. It was amazing. There were people everywhere, buying incense and preparing beautiful fruit offerings. There were quite a few rituals going on using incense, so the entire place smelled wonderful.

The monks, all women, were studying, so I got a few photos of the Asian version of a bet midrash. The building itself was intricately carved and painted in a myriad of colors, with red being a dominant theme. I took photos of the wood-carved dragons on the roof, but I don't think anything could do them justice.

We walked around a bit, discovered why one street corner is known as The Fortune Telling Street (if you go underground there are booths and booths and booths of fortune tellers) and marveled at the number of scooters (really, it's unbelievable) and how important foot message is in this city. It was hot and humid, so we returned home so Romi could take a two-hour nap (sorry Mike and Steph).

We stayed in last night, got very tasty vegetarian Chinese take out from next door, and all slept well. We're off to get Romi's visa and to do some sightseeing. We are happy and content. It just feels so normal to have our little one with us. Thank you to everyone for your well wishes!

And here's the real reason you logged on to our blog today--to see pictures of the little man himself! So here they are (you can see these and others on Rob's Facebook page).

We have Romi!

I slept really well--the miracles of modern medicine!

We were excited and anxious. Rob would have happily slept 15 minutes longer but I just couldn't stop talking to him. We got up, got dressed, changed money and headed for the hotel breakfast. It was wonderful to see hot, fresh and beautiful food. We didn't eat anything too interesting because we were already anxious and excited, although I did try a wonderful passion fruit. It's sour and I learned, mainly through pantomime with a woman in line, that you don't eat the hard outer shell. Tomorrow I will branch out, although I will probably skip the green salad, sushi and silverfish.

Mr. Yeh was waiting for us in the lobby and we spent the two-hour car ride talking with Theresa and Lee, soon-to-be-parents from Houston. We laughed about the process together and shared both our excitement and anxiety. I feel so fortunate that we traveled together.

We stopped briefly at a rest stop. The sweet shop had samples and we tasted some funky but surprisingly good jelly-type yummies, one strawberry, the other peanut butter and chocolate. We arrived at TWCA and took pictures, excited and nervous and a bit in disbelief. They sat the four of us at a small table and we tried to wait patiently.

Lee and Theresa left first with their caseworker to get their daughter. I remember looking at the clock--it was 10:37. Soon Samantha showed up to take us to our appointment. We piled back into Mr. Yeh's van and took a short drive to Romi's foster home.

And then there she was, Romi's foster mom, waiting in the open entryway, with Romi in her arms, and I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful. I know everybody wants to know all about it, but I just don't think I can describe it. He was absolutely stunning. We passed him around and hugged him and kissed him and took loads of pictures.

His foster mom was a really wonderful woman. She seemed to understand more English than she spoke, so we were glad to have Samantha to translate. I have no idea how long we were there--long enough to get some questions answered regarding our newest family member, and short enough that the goodbye, hopefully, wasn't too painful for his foster mom.

We piled in the car, with the baby on my lap. It's funny how back home we had a certified expert put the car seats in, but here we don't even wear seat belts. We headed to the two-story baby store on the corner and loaded up on bottles, formula, rice cereal, pacifiers, etc. As we were shopping Theresa and Lee came in with Maddy, their beautiful six-month old baby girl.

We all headed back to TWCA, where Theresa and Lee were to meet Maddy's birth mother. For a variety of reasons, this was something that Rob and I did not get the opportunity to do; I was both relieved and disappointed. We signed one form, got more paperwork, and that was it. I looked at the clock and it was not yet even 12:30. Only two hours had past, and now instead of four of us sitting at the table, there were six. I have to echo Theresa's sentiments: I underestimated the happiness factor. It truly was even better than I expected.

The babies alternately slept or stared at one another on the trip back. We stopped for lunch at a rest stop, but there was literally nothing for Rob and I to eat. We got all excited when we found potato chips in the market, but when we read the ingredients, they had roasted meat powder. We spotted three Buddhist monks and wandered over to see what they were eating--nothing. Sigh. Luckily Theresa had granola bars and goldfish crackers and she happily supplied us with a snack.

We made it back to the hotel safe and sound. Romi is cute and curious. He's good at taking naps and rolling over. He has a wonderful smile and, finally, ate an entire bottle. We figured he'd had enough excitement for one day, so Rob went out and got us a pizza for dinner. (It came with two packets of ketchup--yuck.)

We are staying in, enjoying our baby, trying not to give in to jet lag. We will attempt to send photos tomorrow because he's so darn cute, you all really deserve to see him. Our appointment with AIT is early Wednesday morning and we hope to get some sight-seeing in after that.

I've given Romi kisses from every one of you, plus a few from us. I can't wait for you to meet him!

24 Hours of Travel

My adventure began at 4:00 in the morning after a fitful night of sleep. I was uncomfortable sleeping without Rob, I was concerned about the trip, I was worried I would sleep through the alarm, and I was freaking out that life as I knew it was about to totally change. All-in-all, not the best thing for a good night's rest.

Stephi and Jacob were kind enough to call at 4:17 and check that I was indeed up and on my way. I got to the airport just fine, checked in, and the man assured me that my bag would safely go from Tucson, AZ, to Taipei, Taiwan, and although skeptical I went on faith, gave him all my belongings and headed toward the little plane that would take me to LA and to Rob.

Mom and Rob met me outside of the United terminal and we headed toward Tom Bradley (the international terminal). We had a bit under four hours to wait for our flight, but we were anxious so decided just to hang out.

When we got there the terminal was uncharacteristically quiet. We located EVA Airlines, but there wasn't a single soul behind the counter. In fact, the place was deserted. We schlepped the bags around the terminal searching for food and settled at The Daily Grill. Literally a half-hour later we returned to what was once an airport-terminal ghost town, and in true Hollywood fashion, it had been transformed. There were people and lines and employees and families and luggage and security and all sorts of hustle and bustle. We checked in, wound our way through security and settled in to wait for our flight.

The 747 proved to be pretty spacious. (Of course, I had just gotten off the tiniest jet ever, so it could have been perspective.) We instantly took to our business class seats; it may only be a few more inches, but it truly does make a difference.

We discovered all the comforts of not flying coach: slippers, seats that both tilt and recline, tray tables stored in the armrest instead of flopping down in front of you. We had ordered special meals, so we even got served first. The flight attendants did a superb job heating up Rob's Kosher meal main dish, but left everything else frozen, from the fruit to his roll. He managed. My vegetarian meals were distinctly Asian in style. I even had a rice-porridge dish with ginger (Mom would have loved it).

Twelve or so hours and many movies later, we landed in Osaka, Japan. We knew that we'd have a layover and that even though we'd continue on the same plane we still had to disembark, but it wasn't exactly what we expected. We had to take everything with us (yes, we would be returning to the same seats), so we gathered all our belongings and headed up the jetway. We expected an hour or so to leisurely walk through the terminal.

Instead we were herded through the airport and required to go through security again. Why? I have no idea. They even confiscated the water bottle I had purchased in the terminal at LAX. Then they sent us back to the gate we just exited from to wait to board. The airport was hot, stuffy and crowded, but we did have the opportunity to stretch. The interesting thing was that everyone's t-shirts had English on them. You'd figure, being in Japan and all, that the process would be high-tech, but they checked us off using a printout and a highlighter.

An hour later we were back on the plane, sitting back in the same seats. We were exhausted by this time and fell asleep before we were even wheels up. They woke us to eat; even though we had just eaten breakfast, they served us dinner. The wonders of international travel. Rob's Kosher meal proved fairly inedible, and Emily would have loved the fact that my meal came with sushi.

We arrived in Taiwan and made it quickly through customs. Unfortunately, although we were first at the baggage carousel, our luggage was the very last off. When we exited the terminal we were met by both our driver, Mr. Yeh, and a representative from Gladney. They were kind and helpful and delivered us safely to our hotel 45 minutes later.

The hotel is great. The people here are incredibly helpful. The room is really quite nice, but then again I would love any place that gave me slippers! I decided to take a sleeping pill to ensure a good night's sleep, and set about unpacking. Just to note, the Ritz crackers in the mini-bar have vanilla filling.

I took a shower and started to feel quite odd. I had just thrown my body across the world at hundreds of miles per hour, I was on the verge of becoming a mom, and that was the first sleeping pill I every took. It wasn't long before it took effect (important to remember for the future) and soon I told Rob I had to lie down. I don't remember much of anything after that, except for asking who was getting into bed with me. Luckily, it was Rob.

Blessings

I truly believe that gratitude is the key to happiness. And if that's the case my happiness quotient can be nothing less than off the charts. The love and support that Rob and I have received as we get ready for the biggest adventure of our lives has been awe-inspiring. Friends and loved ones have called, sent e-mails, offered to help, taken care of our random needs (thanks Julian!), passed us amazing hand-me-downs, and generally just made sure that we have felt completely supported these past two weeks. As leaving to get Romi is no longer days but mere hours away, I take with me too many prayers and blessings to count and from the depths of my soul I thank God for my community, my co-workers, my congregants, my friends and my family. You are all with us in our hearts!

Talk to you from the other side of the world....

Oh Our Bags Are Packed....

I actually think, gasp, we are ready to go. Our bags are pretty much packed. We have gifts for the orphanage director, two social workers, Mr. Yeh (the driver), the foster family, the birth mother, and an extra for whomever. We have plane tickets, hotel reservations, passports and money. We have a myriad of forms, including the new and exciting I-864W that I got via e-mail yesterday. The house sitter is coming, the fridge is cleaned out, and the plants are watered.

Even Romi's bag is packed--which I gotta tell you, was no easy feat. Try packing for a baby when you've never had one. Then try packing for a person you've never met. Then pack for a baby you've never met who is six months old, meaning he is either wearing clothes for babies that are three-to-six months old or six-to-nine months old (the crazy sizes they come in). If that isn't bad enough, his diaper size is either a 2, which goes up to 18 pounds, or a 3, which starts at 16 pounds. And you have to be careful because you don't want them to be too loose or they will leak and they can't be too tight or they will be uncomfortable.

Topping this all off, I actually ignored some things on the list. Yep, I made my first renegade parental decisions and decided that some of the items on the list just weren't necessary. Living even further on the edge, we also decided not to bring a stroller. I know, we're going to be living in a hotel with a half-year-old baby and traveling through airports without one of the most common parental accouterments. We are seriously living on the edge.

Of course, our rebel status only goes so far....we did have a licensed car seat installer put the car seats in our cars!

Gifts Are So Not My Thing

Rob and I are not gift-giving people. It's not that we have anything against it as an institution, it's just not something that either of us is really into. We exchange birthday gifts with one another, but that's pretty much it. (We don't even do the anniversary thing.) And what does this have to do with our little bambino? Well, it turns out that Taiwan is a gift-giving culture. Oh joy. This means a gift for the social worker, a gift for the driver, a gift for the person at the fake consulate, a gift for the foster family, and a gift for the birth mother. Seriously, I can't even figure out what I want for my own birthday, and now I have to come up with an appropriate gift not only for the people have taken care of my child day and night for six months, but for the person who made him and loved him enough to put him to our arms? A Hallmark figurine is just not going to cut it.

We have learned that it's not about the financial worth of the gift, but it's best if it is representative of the area which you are from. (Thanks Jean.) We figured we live in the desert, in the southwest, close to Mexico and among Native Americans. How hard could this be? You would be surprised at just how many authentic Native American dream catchers are actually made in China. I am NOT buying a tchotchke here in Tucson just to schlep it back halfway across the world. My mom did find some beautiful Indian blankets in a store around the corner. We thought we had hit pay dirt, until we read the label: "A German product made in Saudi Arabia."

I'd curse the global economy...if we still had one.

Pregnancy vs. Paperwork

We may not be bringing Romi home in the "traditional" way, but that doesn't mean we haven't had our fair share of stress, discomfort and anxiety. Our pain isn't physical, it's mental, and it has to do with the mounds of paperwork it takes to get a 15 pound, 24-inch person from Asia to Tucson, AZ.

You'd think that the hard part was through; after all, the adoption itself is final. Romi is ours, legally and forever. It's just getting him into this country that's so darn difficult. Months and months ago, we filed an I-600A with Homeland Security, the Advance Petition to Classify and Orphan as an Immediate Relative. For the privilege of filling out this form, we paid the government close to $700. Now that we are going to act on this form, we have to file the I-600 itself. (Luckily, there is no fee!) We also need to complete the DS-230, an application for an immigrant visa and alien registration for our six-month old baby. This form, which Romi technically fills out, seems straight forward, until you think about it too much. For example, they want to know Romi's current address; if we had that, we would have gone to get him months ago! They also want to know "Mother's family name at birth." I still haven't figured this one out; I know I'm his mother, but do they mean my family name at the time of Romi's birth or at mine?! On top of these forms, we filled out the I-864, the Affidavit of Support, providing proof the Romi won't become dependent on government assistance. For some reason, this form had to be filled out in all capital letters, which is much harder than you'd think.

Add to all of this the copies of income tax, paycheck stubs, employment verification letters, all notarized, of course. And then there's the travel issues: do we get Romi's airplane seat in his Taiwanese name or his English name? I assume you're beginning to get the unpretty picture. No, we won't be feeling contractions a few minutes apart, but it certainly doesn't mean that this process is painless!

All those Years of Higher Education....Wasted

Clearly, we are not ready to be parents. Let me explain: this past Wednesday we had company for Rosh Hashana lunch--six adults and little baby Jacob, who at six months old has a solid two weeks on Romi. While we enjoyed an amazing repast (Rob's turkey was incredible), little Jacob got more and more tired. He even had little baby-sized black circles under his eyes. It was perfectly clear that a nap was in order, and the six adults around the table began to discuss our options.

We rejected the first option, to place him in the middle of our unfurnished living room, as we were still eating and Jacob's mom expressed concern about all the cat hair (a valid point). Next I suggested the middle of our bed, but that too was quickly rejected as Jacob has mastered rolling and rolling and rolling, and we didn't want him to go plop.

And then I had a brainstorm--we own a Pac N' Play! (Duh!) This nifty contraption (which we inherited from the Brunks a lifetime ago) is a portable crib...just the ticket! Rob went and got it out and began to set it up. It is a wonderful little happy cabana, complete with, well, a cabana. It was easy enough to set up, but we then decided to put it in our bedroom so that the bambino could sleep in peace. Rob rolled it out of the living room, but alas it didn't fit through the bedroom doorway. He rolled it down the hallway, and five minutes later, appeared, sans happy cabana and with a report that it was ready to go.

Please bear in mind that we are going on 30 minutes now of discussing what to do with a sleeping baby. And that's when baby Jacob's mom asked for a sheet for the Pac N' Play. FYI: a portable crib needs its own special sheet. FYI: we don't own one. So Jacob's parents pulled out the puffy plastic covered pad and washed it. I felt bad for baby Jacob; it may be fall in the rest of the world, but we live in Tucson, AZ, and the idea of sleeping on plastic was anything but alluring. Of course, the baby had been asleep for a good 10 minutes by this time, so the entire discussion was probably moot, but we pushed on.

Jacob's mom asked if we had a crib sheet instead. When I replied yes, she asked if we had washed them yet. I replied that I was pretty certain we did have one that had been washed and scurried off to Romi's room to look. I opened the dresser to find two crib sheets, still in the package. And along came brainstorm number two: I had washed a crib sheet, and turned around to take it off of...the crib.

Yes, for 40 minutes, six well-educated and seemingly well-adjusted adults ran around like crazy people trying to find the best place to put down baby Jacob, when it turns out all along we had a piece of furniture specifically designed for, you guessed it, a sleeping baby.

I can't believe someone is actually going to trust us with one of our own....